Happy Halloween.

Happy Halloween! I hope you all had an awesome time. The people of Nepal know of Halloween here but don't celebrate it. They actually just finished their own holiday known as Tihar. I don't know what it's for but there are a lot of fire crackers, Christmas lights and flower necklaces on dogs; pretty fun. For my Halloween, I just bought some candy at the store and watched a crappy scary movie on TV. Nothing much new here; although I did finally get out of Kathmandu. Two friends and I took a cab to this place called Nagarcot, which is about 20 mi. away and takes an hour to travel, but when you do get there you get an awesome view of the entire Kathmandu valley, and since you are at 7200 ft, you are way above all of the pollution of the city so you can see a lot of stars come night time. Never having been outside Kathmandu, seeing a different kind of Nepal was a breath of fresh air, literally as well as metaphorically. Driving past the staircased hills of the local farmland truly puts one in awe of the ingenuity and strength of man. To have to provide for your family but being completely surrounded by steep hills and mountains would seem an impossible task, and yet the people here have done just that. They have molded these mountains for their own needs. As if this was how the landscape should have bee and mother nature just forgot to finish, so they picked up where she stopped. Cutting shelves into the earth, moving unthinkable amounts by mere shovel and bag; it is spectacular. And then being able to see some of the farm work actually being done is something else beautiful all of its own. The knowledge of each process and act passed down through generations, as well as the workers own personal wisdom is manifested physically and clearly with every gesture. I have seen more grace and expertise in the hands and face of a farm woman than I have ever seen in the feet of a dancer or the brush of a painter. However, as beautiful as everything was to see, it was even better to smell. I never thought air could actually smell sweet but I am wrong. The air was so clean and full of energy and grass that it reminded me that Kathmandu is not Nepal, much like Anchorage is not Alaska. I have been in Kathmandu for so long that I have gotten use to its stench. The haze of motor exhaust everywhere, the piles of garbage stacked around every corner, and the massive varieties of poop all over the streets and paths. There are little to no public toilets here so people that are in a bad way have to go where they can, which generally is on the side of the sidewalk or any random corner. Being here for a while now, I have come to be somewhat of a crap connoisseur. I can tell you whether it is dog, cow, man, and in some cases what kind of bird. I was the kind of person who walked with a bit of pride inside knowing that in my 23 years of existence, fecal matter had never touched me where it shouldn't, and yet in my two months of living here in Kathmandu, I have been shit on twice. You go out and you walk the streets knowing that every day is a gamble, both in life and in excrement. But all of this I had been able to ignore until now, when I know there is a better life. However friends, seeing the beautiful countryside and smelling the grass and the soil made me pretty homesick. I miss my wilderness, I miss your jokes, and I miss our adventures. But what gets me through the days when things are rough, either with the street kids or be it that I just am not feeling well, is the thought of my friends and family. I love you and I will see you in three months. Seth. Oh, and here is a picture of me and two my street friends.

The Pressure is on

Well, the pressure is on. We had a meeting today to map out the next few months plans for this photo project I'm doing. We have to start scouting for a venue to hold the exhibition that also has dining capacity as well as the space to show a film documentary we will be making on the street children. There is so much to do that I am just glad that I only have to come up with the pictures. Although today, the man heading the project took me aside and said, "I hope you understand the gravity of the situation. Everything rests on you and the quality of pictures you produce." The whole office is working to prepare this exhibition solely on the faith of my ability. Basically if I don't come through, not only do the kids not get the help they need, but the organization's reputation will also be blemished and thus limiting their ability to help the children in the future. I said to Saum, (my boss) "I understand that you feel you are gambling on a strangers competence." and he said, "If you wish to put it like that." and I followed with, "Well, I am not a gamble." I have never been so sure of myself in my life. I have never had so much responsibility before, but because failure is not an option, it will be done; no matter what I have to do. I am terrified and yet more excited and confident than I have ever felt before. I don't know if it is the fact that I have been reading "Atlas Shrugged" by Ayn Ryand or if I have finally become an adult, but I know I am ready for this challenge and am going to see to it that my word is kept. Today was good progress: some of the more difficult street kids and I played my harmonica for about an hour, and then I played marbles with some other friends of mine and then lastly watched a game of Nepali poker for about 30 min. On a side note, some things of interest about Nepal that I may have forgotten to mention, although I'm not certain how, are: Brittney Spears, Bob Marley, Kurt Cobain, Iron Maiden and Sid Vicious from the "Sex Pistols" cover every T-shirt on every 12-17 year old in Nepal. Also, hand washing your laundry is very difficult. I have done my laundry three times now and despite my soar and bloody knuckles, I still don't think I'm doing it right. I can't get out all of the stains and my clothes feel very stiff when they dry. As I write this letter, my T-shirt lies propped up against the corner at attention ready for tomorrow. I love you all and should be photographing soon. Seth.

Keep an eye on Canada.

It's been a while I know, but I have been pretty busy. First, thanks, to all of you and your responses. It was your support and care for me that gave me the confidence I needed to make my decision of sticking with the street children. Even though some views supported the non-street children route, those perspectives still showed a concern that gave me this secure feeling that no matter what I do, you'll be there, and that is what I needed the most. Knowing that through all my mistakes and flaws, I have you. But onwards with the blog; I have been very busy because every day, I have been walking through Kathmandu, meeting the street children and trying to talk with them. And even though their English is as good as my Nepali we still somehow make it work. I think things are coming along alright, they invited me to fly kites with them today, (The kids here have such simple pleasures like flying kites, playing marbles, and watching traffic) however they are still either sending me away or walking to a remote location to huff, so there is still much more trust to be earned. I probably won't even reach the point of carrying my camera around them for another two weeks, which is killing me because there is much I would like to photograph that doesn't involve the street kids but since I spend my days with them, there isn't much time for leisure photography; not yet anyway. On a separate note, I finally got sick. As I type this blog I am aching, tiered, sweaty, cold and dizzy. But it's funny because of all the things that could have made me sick: the food, the water, shaking hands, the pollution; it ended up being a a fellow intern from French Canada. Isn't that just like them; while you are worried about everything else that can get you, they sneak up from behind and boom... fever. So be careful America, don't be fooled by the whole "I'm OK, your OK, we're all OK" facade that Canada tries to pull off, because the second your not looking, they are going to swoop in and put gravy all over your fries. I'll get some photos up soon, sorry. I love you, Seth. Oh, and I think I mentioned how I'm not feeling well so please forgive me if this doesn't flow as well as the others, or if something isn't clear.

I'm tiered and I need help

I need help friends. I feel I need it more now than I have ever before. Recently, I was laid off from my internship with the online magazine project. The web designer fell through and so until a later date, the magazine has nothing for me to do; so they let me go and said they will call me if and when it gets started again. However I still have the project with the human rights organization, documenting the street children and their lifestyle. My problem is this: through my recent efforts, I have come to realize that documenting the street children is going to take all of my time and effort, leaving nothing for another job. I could get work for another publication here easily but I would have to drop the street children, which is where my dilemma lies. I feel that I have been given a rare opportunity to help a large number of people through my passion of photography and to not give it a try seems cowardly and the easy way out; two qualities of which hopefully none of you see in me, and I cannot appreciate. But, and it is a big but; I came here to get work experience that I could take home with me and use to get a job that I truly enjoy and not just tolerate. According to the people I have talked to and what I have heard, many have attempted similar tasks to what I am about to venture into but their success is little or unknown. So if I fail, what am I to say to prospective employers when they ask me "What kind of experience do you have?" Do I tell them that I spent five months in Kathmandu trying to document the lifestyles of street children, but was unsuccessful.? No one cares about the person who attempted the difficult and failed. History is not written about men and women who tried their best. Results are all that matter today. No one's future is paved by good intentions, only what you have achieved makes a difference. Thus if I choose to go to a different publication and leave the street children, I will have my work history and I will have that concrete symbol of effort and knowledge; but I'm not certain if it is in me to just quit; that is not the Seth you know. I have been told that I am a very caring and stubborn person and that is why you like me, but if I left the street children project, would I be the same? I have been torturing myself over this situation and I need your help. This is not a bate and hook for an ego stroke or a search for a boost in self esteem. I feel that I have already made up my mind, but I need an outsiders opinion because I think I might be too blinded by my stubbornness to make a proper decision. I need the love and support of my friends and family. I need you, my foundation, those who have helped to mold and shape the person I am today. Do I go for the sure thing to help my life and career, or do I risk five months of my life for something that may or may not end well? Help your brother out. On the brighter side of things: I am happy to announce that plaid is very fashionable here, as well as my couch shirt, (inside joke) and so are my yellow, purple and pink bracelets; everyone comments on them. I don't have internet access for my laptop, but when I do, I promise to put up a picture that is twice as good to make up for the loss of this one. I love you and will speak with you later, Seth.