I think I'm gonna make sick.

I am confident, I am terrified, I am anxious, I am withdrawn, I am determined, I am uncertain, I am ready, I think I'm gonna throw up and I wouldn't have it any other way. Months ago, I stumbled upon an internship in Nepal for photojournalists. I was skeptic at first but as time drew on my mind I decided to go for it. The day is finally here and for the past few nights my imagination and emotions have ran the full spectrum. One of my main concerns was that for the past four years I have studied for this profession but it has always been nothing but theory and dreams; what if I find out that what I loved did not love me in return or that what I told myself was love was a lie completely. When a life's dream becomes a nightmare, how does one wake up from that. My other concern was more focused on motives. Why do I leave safety, comfort, regularity, love of friends and family, why do I run out from under the shelter of my parents long wise arms? And I guess the answer is that it's just in me. None of my friends or family understands the love I have for them because I cannot measure it myself, and I know if I were to just stick around and not leap for new edges, I would not be myself and could not in good conscience lie to friends and family. So I leave to strengthen my body, my mind, and my care for everyone. I go to find my own rules because I don't have time to simply accept anyone else's. I hope this wasn't too long winded or self righteous for you, this has just been on my mind for a while. I'll get some picks up asap. Hope to hear from you all soon, Seth.